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Get Bitter or Get Better?

At the breaking point of a relationship, one is left with two choices on how to handle the situation:

1. Will you walk away from the breakup, allowing yourself to become a better person and heal from the heartbreak?

2. Or be left with lingering questions and anger regarding how things ended?

It’s hard to make that decision because within a split second, time stops. Everything that you knew and you held so dear is suddenly not as in tact as you once thought. I felt the same about eight months ago when I was facing the exact same trial. I was in a downward spiral with my eyes closed and I was falling out of a relationship that was built on lies and deceit since day one; and the sad thing was that I was completely clueless about it.

My initial reaction was to completely annihilate the guy and everyone that knew our relationship was all a lie and didn’t bother intervening. But then I thought, what’s the point? What good will me blowing up in his face do besides giving him the sheer pleasure in knowing that this breakup will completely destroy me and tear me apart? I took a different route to healing, and doing so I spared myself of the embarrassment and pity I would have received otherwise.

I started to think of every event that happened in my life being comprised of two parts: a rose and its thorn. Like an old proverb I once heard, I stopped “complaining that the rose bush had thorns” and started appreciating that “the thorn bush had roses.” What an inspiring quote put in such simple terms! Once I got over Mr. Man that had me fooled for so long, I realized that I had to start appreciating the thorns in my life. One thing to take into consideration is the fact that the rose and thorns in a rosebush cannot exist without each other… and no rosebush is complete without either. The only way we are allowed to enjoy the rose is if we accept the thorns.

It’s such a big step to let people in on your healing process because more often than not, it affects it negatively. They give you the cliché’ statements about how ‘time heals all wounds’ and ‘there are tons of other fish in the sea’ and for those moments all you can think about is how hard it’s going to be to manage either of those feats. Truth of the matter is that sitting around letting time pass by doesn’t do anything for your healing process. You can let hours, days, weeks, months pass and some people will still be right where they were the day after the breakup. You can’t just sit around and just expect enlightenment, for you to magically be over the person. It takes hard work, commitment, and dedication- all of which require absent energy that you feel like you can’t even conjure up after what the relationship has just drained from you. Find that energy and strength, because once you’re at the lowest point in your life like that- the only way left to go is up.

One thing you’ve always got to remember is that your future is in YOUR hands. You can easily choose a relief of the sadness or to bury yourself in your misery. For most people it seems like a no-brainer- why would someone in their right mind choose to be sad instead of happy? Well that’s just the thing- once you’re at that point in life, you really don’t think things through quite logically. I encourage you to let go of the burdens that weigh you down and always remember that no one that has hurt you in a relationship is worth your tears. Be rid of your sorrows and embrace hope with open arms.