Hey readers! So we’ve decided to begin a Q&A section where readers are encouraged to email us questions about love, friendships, relationships- anything they might just need a second opinion on. Make sure to send us a code name just to keep the privacy! Here’s kicking off the first two we received.
1) I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 2 and half years. We met online through an Indian wedding site. Things have been going pretty good but recently he’s been very secretive lately about his phone and who he’s talking to whenever he’s around me. When I ask him he says it’s just a friend. I trust him. He knows I’ve been hurt before and can’t go through that again. Should I just let it go and wait till he says something or am I thinking too much into it?
Dear Ms. Sherlock,
Two and a half years is a long time to build a solid relationship and a good level of trust between each other. Now that it has been getting pretty serious, I can imagine why his secretiveness is affecting you. In regards to who he is talking to- there should never be anything held secret that he cannot share with you (unless it’s for a surprise or something along those lines). So I would definitely ask him if there’s really anything to hide since you two are pretty serious. If he denies it again, just express your concern and the fact that you have been completely honest and he is expected to do the same. Keep us updated!
2) I’ve been dating my bf almost 5 years and we’ve met each other’s family and everything (taken trips as families together- the whole 9 yards). He knows we’re serious and I’ve been dropping hints lately that I’m ready to plan our next move- marriage. But he either isn’t ready (and idk why) or doesn’t get my clues?! What should I do?
Dear Ready to Take the Next Step,
The classic case of commitment-phobia… trust me, you’re on the same page with about 25% of all girls out there! Whether it be to get into a relationship, or into a bigger commitment like a marriage, guys always think twice as long as women do in regards to if they really want to make this big step or not. Why is that? Women are willing to put our 110% percent in to love wholeheartedly as soon as you find out that’s the person you want to end up with. Guys are a little different in the fact that more often than not, they do love you- but they just don’t know if sooner is better than later. But from what I understand in regards to families both knowing and the trips being taken- it sounds like you’re on the right path. If you’ve dropped hints and he hasn’t responded, then maybe he isn’t ready, just as he says. But I will say- if you’ve dropped numerous hints and he hasn’t shown any response or taken any measures to keep you, then I would definitely bring it up with him because communication is key. Keep your chin up and always remember: when it’s right, it’s right for the both of you.